Let me tell you something about this little blogs of mine

It's funny—it's actually pretty pathetic, or would be for anyone else, but I'm used to it by now—if I don't get a single page view a day or two after a post, I give up on life right then and there on the spot.  Why diet?  Why exercise—Why do anything?  Shove a stool down my throat, or a burger, like eat it you fat cow! 

...better check my stats, see if anybody wants to say hi.  Bastards! I should just kill 'em all.