I gotta think of a way to stop being friends with this guy

I'm supposed to go hiking.

It's 7am.

I told my bud to call me to wake me up.

He did.

I hate him and the world.

When I opened my eyes

and heard the unlazy bastard's voice

and I realized what lies ahead—

physical activity—I decided,

that I hate him and the world.

Then when I remembered,

that three hours earlier,

I was standing upright heroically, 

sleepeatin' a box of buttery cookies,

and that my nogood double 

sabotaged me again, I decided,

that I hate him and the world.

I wish for calamities,

I wish for rain,

and the drive there, 

to take us out,

off with our heads!

so that I may come back to bed.

Commentary: good memiors, good, not great,