I acted as if I were sick.  I ate small tomato soup.  I put cold chicken in the soup.  I didn't care about the bread.  I ate bread.  I looked at the chicken's body in its state.  I ate pieces of the chicken's body.  I wondered if plants, fruits and vegtables grew for a reason.  I didn't know.  I wondered about animals being born, and seeds... I thought about fish, their lives in the ocean.  I was confused and I knew I didn't know.  I didn't want to dwell on corporations.  I did not feel good eating the chicken; if it tasted good I don't want to dwell.  I saw my dogs' beef jerky.  I passed by my own bag of beef jerky.  I thought if God had given us the ability of self-analysis for a reason.  I remembered "follow your heart."  I thought of smoking.  And I mused that's not what my heart wants.  I walked and went into my bed.  I am in the dark in my bed.  My dog I can hear breathing.  I just want to get through today.  I don't want to think about what I'll think about tomorrow.  I just want to sleep. I don't know if I will smoke, I don't know if I will and come back—i don't want to dwell...I don't want to get stuck on it