i threw it away.  I disn't realize i had it until i didn't know where to throw my cigarette and i didn't want to litter so i stuffed it in my pocket and discovered it. It almost killed me.  I was in line at the bar trying to get in for the game.  It was like finding a rat hestled near you.  that's what's called a blackout.  That's my April present, to myself.  thank you.  i love you.  i think i've mostly let her go.  the rest i have to always live with and i have the serenity prayer.  im going to get piss drunk more today.  now, i have to go help terry, and Real won 2-1 with a man down.