I made a real good move, real smart.

- That's hot.

 I bought a box of the these creamy chocolate vanilla filled wafer bites.  There's 6 pouches in a box.  Each pouch contains 100 goodness calories.  Goodness calories do not exceed 100, and many report feeling, "good" about their experience; hence, the moniker.  One person also reported, after his decision he felt, "real smart." 

I place one pouch on display in the kitchen before I go to bed, pray, and fall into my nightly slumber and become an action star.  Every night around 3-4 AM, I go down to the lobby and my mind speaks things—pretty straightforward it says, Chocolate, Chocolate.  Tactically speaking, it's sound because the pouch sits at angle that'll intercept me just as I'm about to make the shirtless walk outside to the back of my truck, where on any given night, cookies reign.  In the cold, one pack of those cookies will set me back two to three hundred calories, no doubt about it.

- If I had a doubt before, I don't have one now.

I had one cookie today while working.  I had a suspicion about the batch's quality, so I opened one up to investigate.  I went in for it.  It tasted good, so I went ahead and ate it.  I ate my profit—I ated it!  Then I ate another one.  The bag was already open, so I had to take care of his buddy, too.  I gave them a good home, then I told the lady at my next store.  This is what I told:

- Do you know what happened?

- No, because you're going to tell me right now.

- You must have heard.

- There is suspense in the air.

- I ate one of my cookies.

- You ate your profit?

- I ated it!

- And all you got to show for it are calories.

- Should we make out?

- Not unless you're dreaming.

- I wish.

- Yea, then you wouldn't have to dread those extra calories.

- It's a real life nightmare!

She laughed at me.  She laughed me out of the store.  I can still hear it.  She was tall and had long black hair that sat over her head like a storm.

So anyway, I can just eat my pouch and be able to fall back into bed.  I bypass the cold, I keep my profit—so in my sleep, I'm making money.  But mainly, I cut out those extra calories, which is more baller than money.  Yea, I usually eat about 3-4 of those pouches a night.

(listening to Blues Traveler - Hook)