But I only figured out I was a genius for doing that when I heard a documentary about me streaming from another motel room that faithful night.  Initially, I was listening because I could hear them having sex.   Then it turned into a voice over about my life, and interviews, I think Larry David said, The guy knows how to masturbate, but then they weren't having sex anymore and it was keeping me from masturbating, and I'll be damned, you know, no greasy slope's gonna—I had put so much effort into the planning, but then this fuckin' documentary was about me.  I had caught two guys' voices' and a girl in the room, and that was so vulgar because it was really happening.  They were doing those things.   An old wealthy man in the line before me to get his room key was egging me on, holding up the line, and I couldn't move cause I was so horny—it was the Rapture—I'm pretty sure he was whispering to the clerk—the clerk is always tge owner—that he had taken my girlfriend to Boston.  I know you've been there, and who else could he hinting at?   So later I thought it could be him in some hedonistic escapade.  He had an X6, and he had taken you to places like Boston, obviously.  And I could believe it all I was so deranged and distant.  I only knew you in that way now.  These people, they must be low lives, real depraved too, and the girl, she's not respectable—I had my cup silently to the wall, who knows what they're capable of...

And I realized, Wait a minute, who cares if I'm just hearing things—they're right!  I think they were making fun of me too, but the argument still worked.  Then later in the show—I kept stopping the porn to find my channel, but I couldn't find it—they were talking about this time I went out to get food for me and my parents, but I didn't want to wait for the pizza, so I called them and told them the line was really long and they should eat at home, and I bought myself a sandwich there for the same price as the pizza and ate it before I got home.  My folks wouldn't know.  That one made me laugh.  I don't ever laugh during playtime.  Impossible!  That's a long post down there, I'm not searching through it to insert this.   It's a glorious rambling mountain!