I have nightmares where I wake up and there's this Man trying to steal my pants through my window, and I'm struggling to hold on to a pant leg, and I keep pleading with him, "What am I going to wear to work tomorrow?  This is the only one that fits--I used to work out, you know?"

But I also keep insulting him and saying I hope your mother takes a trip to Somalia and your sister was in Iraq.