The Monster

i'm going to be honest with you about my plan for the day.  so im really depressed. firstly, in terms of friends and housemates, i think everyone likes me and that makes me happy, but inside, issues with masculinity, girls, and blog, my reaction to my projecting, im feeling real low.  im convinced no one finds me suitable, and i really i know no matter how skinny i get thats not going to change.  just some skidmark in me worn through time.  so what im going to do, what im going to do is, i ordered a horchata, 4 taquitos, two taco, a quesadilla, and i think a potato taco too, carrots and radishs, im going to throw it up, then relax, have a monster—that's what she used to call my thing, just so you know—for energy then go to the gym and have a healthy exercise.  sone circuit pushups pullups chin ups maybe light squats and run a couple two three miles if my legs permit, listen to tool or radiohead live.  then just go back to eating reasonably and relaxed.  how is it a bad idea?  it's just a rough patch.  i thought about it on impulse and it sounds like the perfect idea after i overslept depressed.  it's like getting away with murder.  i don't want anybody watching me at the gym today.  

it used to go to work, clock in and everythin'