Someone told me this secret once, I'm not going to tell you who it was.  Okay, I'll tell you.  It was the guy down my street who also gives me advice on how to get women.  He told me the secret to beating cancer if you smoke, is that when you wake up—you know how the first thing every smoker wants to do is have a cigarette, right?  Yea, you do.  No, they don't want to have sex or key their neighbor's new car.  They want to smoke.  Well, you have to wait 45 minutes, that's the key, and you can start puffing away.  Be ambitious, have one after the other.  Have two at once for me—you don't have like five bucks, do you?  And if you cough, well you just laugh it off, my friend, because the joke's on fate.  And you go straight to the front of the line, you buy that lottery ticket, because you'll be so old—and that's how old people get off.