My New Years resolution was not to eat dairy.  I didn't remember what my resolution was until the second week of January.  By that time I had already broken it.  End of story.

Later, his unauthorized biographer will note the use of tragic foreshadowing and will reference this specific passage for when the the author is sitting up at West Central.  The author, then in a letter to one of his many girlfriends will write,

"You tell that bozo to stop writing things about me!  It makes my stomach hurt.  Literary device, my ass!    I forgot!  And why the hell am I still having nightmares about college!  Baby, can you put some money in my..."

The unauthorized biographer will then counter by highlighting EatKhash's strong subconscious, that the author in some respects does no work at all—that his main contribution is the italics button.  And he will point to the analogy of milk on a stomach with lowlactase or the allergic reaction an individual's body will suffer under the strain of certain medications interacting...