Ted and Lou

Squad car approaches

- (Ed, nods) Officers.  Good day for a beer isn't it?

- (Off. 1) Depends.  Let me ask you something, what are you doing over here?  You doin' some loitering?  You're hovering around the pay phone—what happened, changed carriers?

 - (Off. 2, passenger, meanwhile)   Ted...ted..ted...ted..Ted

- (Off. 1) What, Lou?  I'm talkin' here!

- (Lou) You see that mailbox at the entrance of the Ralphs parking lot, the one that nitwit crashed into two times in the same day?

- (Ted) Yeah, that was funny—

- (Ed) What happened, beer run?

- (Lou) Oh yea.  Well, some times when we drive past and I see it, I want that mailbox to turn into a beer so that I can drink it.

- (Ted) Hmm, yea, I could see that.  

- (Ed) Some days, Some days...

- (Ted) You get a new pet—

- (Ed) A horse.

- (Ted) You're riding your pet...

- (Lou) Someone's hat falls off...

- (Ted) And you want that hat to turn into a beer so you can drink it.

- (Lou) I want yesterday's egg salad to turn into a beer so you can drink it—

- (Ted) That's a good egg salad, Lou.

- (Ed) Some days, some—

- (Ted) I'll tell you what, some days you're driving and you get a call—

- (Ed) And it's a woman?

- (Ted) And it's a woman...and you want that woman to turn into a beer so you can drink it.

- (Ed) A Beer in Distress.

- (Ted) You got it, buddy.

- (Lou) Tell you what, I want the "beer" in "Beer in Distress" to turn into a beer so that I can drink it

- (Ted) Mmhmm—

- (Ed) That's right.