Maybe it's too early.  We have a mutual friend.  I saw a bunch likes on one of her pictures.  It's like my parents just walked in on me.  It's like I just got high. My brain's used to certain things.  I'm older than her and she's years beyond me.  Fuckin facebook.  That black hole.  I was hoping she had no life and was just as crazy about me.  It's hard to be melancholy when it's so fuckin hot outside.  You turn the AC on and it feels like a luxury.  How am I going to wallow in a cool room? I hate this city; you can't smoke anywhere because they're racist.  Maybe it's too early.  I don't know what I'm going to do.  I won't exercise anymore maybe.  Maybe I'll run and I won't ever stop.  If I get high, I'm going to translate all the comments; I'm going to look up everybody, in every platform, in every kind of platform.  Fuckin black hole.  I was just trying to change the trigger into a positive, get myself out there.  

I have no right to do anything but live my life.  If I can be vigilant enough all the time to keep accepting it, then she's living her life.  I don't know...those bozos, where'd they come from?  I was so busy trying to bulldoze her life, she built one.  

Update: Dealt with the panic promptly.  Because I got ego, and a dog—and I'm freakin crazy—and it's all good.