At some point over night, it must have been nearing daybreak, I awoke on the couch and heard myself saying I'm going to sleep on my bed. He was sitting on the deskchair I use to smoke near the backyard door, a few feet from me, as I got up. I went to the kitchen first to nibble on something; I was pretty sleepyheaded and cold, but found myself eating over the stove for an extended period. Old scrambled eggs and tomatoes, clumsily scooping it up with bread. Then I walked back toward my room and slowly looked in to see if he was sleeping on the bed: if I was going to sleep on the bed where would he sleep? No, the bed was clear. I didn't want to have offended him. That was an odd sensation, a weird giddiness from lack of sleep. I realized I had been talking to myself. My penis is a little bigger today.
Hey they stole that from me! That's my line! I'm watching some CSI or Law and Order SUV on TNT, and this girl goes, "So chivalry isn't dead." That's my line! That's my thing. Well, I stole the SUV bit from the Sopranos—Chrissy, you know? But any time some lady holds the door open for me, I got my bit, you know? It's a part of my bag. Get it? There's stuff in my bag—you always make me throw it away—that I can use, things to automatically say to people to get a hearty reaction. And this one time, a hot girl did it for me, and I froze, so I go, say the line, idiot! And she goes, what? And I go, "So chivalry isn't dead." So witty. Yea, I got like three pats on the back inside the store. All the guys in the line were gelus.
All my exes live in Texas...that's why I rest my hat in Tennessee.
I'm not a man. What? To thine own self be true.
I'm watching Roadhouse. My new favorite movie. The scene with the blonde in the pink dress at the bar. Very sexy, almost vulgar. I didn't jerk off or nothin'.
- first prize!
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