a purging of the soul

I was looking at my puke.
It was mainly water,
with things swimming in it.
It made me think of the ocean,
drowning, in a whole other world
that cannot care for your existence.
You simply become a part of it.

...

The women we blame for the
bitterness of broken dreams,
yet salivate at the sight of raw meat.
We gather, clap our hands together
in thin drunken comradery,
each nursing ecstacy and yearning,
that humbles the most hardened face.

When she moans, she moans for me;
She must love, but her love has grown
increasingly vulgar and away from me.
Her passion, fingered and petted:
out on the street, chasing cars,
I wouldn't know what to do
with the real thing.

...

Before panic, before scream,
Before terror reaches perfect oblivion,
children incinerate near the heavens :
in the unknowing sky,
in absolute magnificence,
in Man's endless endeavor.

...

maybe it's the consistent
color of the squares
that makes me sad.
that, at best,
im no better than
above average.

Im letting the clock run.
every move i consider
makes me unworthy
of even resignation

broken record

I want to eat the food that never ends
I want to get lost in sensations
I want the whole night,
nevermind the interstice
of window shades,
the promise and the anticipation -
always broken, that leads to no end

I got the song on repeat,
clinging, to the first time
like a hamster on its plaything

night extends relentless

Night extends relentless
Into the day,
The worst is still uncertain.
What remains,
Remains suspended -
The unfortunate morning,
Clouded w/ cigarettes,
And the perpetual stink
( of ashtrays)

Smoke still lines the room,
There is no breeze
And the phone doesn't ring.

The tide of indecision,
It pulls back and wavers,
Wavers with resistence.
The rhtymn of the ocean
Is enough to unsettle you.

Long for the 6:30 quips,
The ploys of pizza and marketing-
The plots about nothing.

That daily tickles him
And tickles her
And tickles you into perfect oblivion,
W/ reckless shoes
(and the remnants in TV trays))

Then into your room
you can retreat
In a smile
Out of which escapes relief;
And sinking softly
Into ur pillow,
You can sleep.